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Fun ways to jack off

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The 3Fap is the first male masturbator to offer "three textured orifices. Fun ways for gay boy to jack off xxx Dean. Dieses Video markieren Why do you think we should remove this video? Moving back in with your folks?

But with only a little effort, you're doing your taxes, you're eating pudding, you're braiding your hair, whatever. Sky's the limit.

Letsgasm Be mindful of which pudding you eat, however. The clear upside of the Autoblow is that it finally takes masturbation out of your hands.

You just have to be comfortable with a Donkey Kong-esque barrel on your junk. It has variable speeds as well, so you can go from lazy Quaalude mumble-munch to Furious 7 Vin Diesel power gulp.

The downside to the Autoblow, depending on how you feel about noise, is that it sounds like you're being blown by the factory from the end The Terminator.

Just a cacophony of churning, rumbling gears, and actuators slouching along towards Jizzrael. Orion Pictures "Live with me if you want to cum.

The other issue here is one of balance. The Autoblow's big selling point is that it saves you the dreaded carpal tunnel and wrist stress of all compulsive masturbators before you, but it's still not entirely hands-free.

It's got girth -- it's like you're trying to fuck a two-liter bottle of root beer that's really into it -- but you either have to hold it up or, as I said, find some way to balance it.

Or as a last ditch effort, you need to stand and place it at wang level with something to weigh it down and just be there, in the moment.

A dude with his dick in a blowie machine. Has technology improved the wank? Have our advances in texturized rubbers improved our alone time? Is the handjob your grandfather's handjob?

After thorough consideration, weighing all pros and cons, I have to conclude that traditional, you-and-your-dirty-kielbasa-claw masturbation is still the best form.

Ease of use. It's as simple as that. Sure, the Autoblow is an impressive sensation, but can you do that on an elevator with a hole cut in the pocket of your dress pants without anyone else noticing?

Not at all. Are you taking a few minutes out of your workday to "go to the bathroom" and bringing a Fleshlight? Do you dare smuggle a ham sandwich into a movie theater?

Steve Jobs. Fact is, your hand belongs on your arm, so no one is ever suspicious when you have it. You never need to plan to bring it anywhere, and you never need to hide it or prepare it or sanitize it and put it away when you're done.

These other methods are like those kitchen gadgets they advertise in infomercials. Sure, maybe you could buy the Bullet home smoothie-making kit and use it a few times, but for the most part, you're just filling a plain old cup with vodka and drinking that.

It's simple. It's what you've been doing your whole life. It's efficient, and at the end of the day, it does the job perfectly.

So in a way, technology has indeed changed the way you jerk off -- and maybe even made it feel better, or at least different.

But did it improve it? Will it replace it? No it won't. Masturbatory scientists have been at it for a long time heh.

And see their greatest breakthrough yet: Masturbation Cream. No this isn't a lubricant for sex. This is Masturbation Cream. Also follow us on Facebook , because our page makes a great "just got walked in on while watching porn" cut-to.

Don't make me do this again. Don't have an account? Continue as Guest. Please enter a Username. I agree to the Terms of Service. Add me to the weekly newsletter.

Add me to the daily newsletter. Create Account. I know this is weird but, I wanted to know some of the different ways to jack off.

Share Facebook. What are some ways to jack off? Add Opinion. How about using your right hand for a change, if you are left handed? Or the other way around..

You can use both hands come to think of it.. Or, sit on one of your hands long enough that there is no blood flow anymore and your hand is numb and when you use that hand now, it feels even better : A friend of mine used pillows to hump..

The creepiest one I have heard and seen was this guy in a video look it up in google who supposedly got two of his lowest ribs removed in order to give himself a blow job..

You know when people paint faces on their hands for hand puppets? There isn't any part of a woman that's anything close to what a vacuum would feel like.

If ur willing to risk never being able to make love to person to see what being in a hard cold tube with enough suction to pull ur insides outside go for it.

Just don't plan on having any physical relationship with anyone. Guest over a year ago In reply to anonymous on - click to read.

Put 2sponges in a cup and put lubi inside and hmp away. Guest over a year ago Pop a balloon get a brush wrap the balloon around the brush and put it in ure vagina make sure the balloon is clean and put lubi or lotion on it.

MasterP over a year ago Take something like a tortilla and put butter on it. Warm in microwave for about 7 seconds take out wrap into burrito with one side open and jack off.

It's great. Guest over a year ago Cut the end off of a banana then take all of the banana out of the rest of the peel without braking the peel then microwave for seconds.

Guest over a year ago hallow out cucumber warm in microwave feels awesome. Guest over a year ago Go to your fridge and get a V-8 or similar plastic bottle.

Fun Ways To Jack Off Video

12 Wrong Things Guys Do While Masturbating Every Guy Does These Mistakes

Fun Ways To Jack Off Pop Culture

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I would argue that a Fleshlight is to sex what Taco Bell is to a Mexican banquet. It's not really in the ballpark, and sure, some snotty people who think they're better than you will make fun of it.

But you know what? When you're drunk at 2 a. The major downside to the Fleshlight is that it's a lot like manual labor.

Masturbating with your hand affords you that flesh-to-flesh connection. It's not work; it's personal grooming. You're cleaning your pipes. But the Fleshlight in hand makes it a bit more like mixing a never-ending martini that you can't drink -- and instead of an olive, you're garnishing it with man nectar that you need to hose out the end of a length of flopping, disembodied, pseudo-vaginal canal.

Gritty Woman At which point, your only hope is to become turned on by tapeworms. I want you to put on your 3D glasses, hop on your hoverboard, and start eating astronaut ice cream, because the future of tugging on your tuber is now.

The Autoblow 2 is the most advanced form of wanking mankind has to offer. After this, we can only design robot arms with gentle-yet-firm jacking motions.

And you know after the preliminary trials, the whole project is going to be set back when one goes haywire and yanks some volunteer's dick off with such force that it gets javelined across a room and embedded in a brick wall.

The Autoblow takes the basic premise of a Fleshlight -- a fake, semi-realistic vagina with a tail -- and adds a new dimension of awesome that the old Fleshlight failed miserably at achieving.

This dimension is, of course, autonomy. You can read a damn book while this thing grinds your organ. You'll probably need to balance it between your thighs a little, or wedge it slightly between yourself and a pillow.

But with only a little effort, you're doing your taxes, you're eating pudding, you're braiding your hair, whatever.

Sky's the limit. Letsgasm Be mindful of which pudding you eat, however. The clear upside of the Autoblow is that it finally takes masturbation out of your hands.

You just have to be comfortable with a Donkey Kong-esque barrel on your junk. It has variable speeds as well, so you can go from lazy Quaalude mumble-munch to Furious 7 Vin Diesel power gulp.

The downside to the Autoblow, depending on how you feel about noise, is that it sounds like you're being blown by the factory from the end The Terminator.

Just a cacophony of churning, rumbling gears, and actuators slouching along towards Jizzrael. Orion Pictures "Live with me if you want to cum.

The other issue here is one of balance. The Autoblow's big selling point is that it saves you the dreaded carpal tunnel and wrist stress of all compulsive masturbators before you, but it's still not entirely hands-free.

It's got girth -- it's like you're trying to fuck a two-liter bottle of root beer that's really into it -- but you either have to hold it up or, as I said, find some way to balance it.

Or as a last ditch effort, you need to stand and place it at wang level with something to weigh it down and just be there, in the moment.

A dude with his dick in a blowie machine. Has technology improved the wank? Have our advances in texturized rubbers improved our alone time?

Is the handjob your grandfather's handjob? After thorough consideration, weighing all pros and cons, I have to conclude that traditional, you-and-your-dirty-kielbasa-claw masturbation is still the best form.

Ease of use. It's as simple as that. Sure, the Autoblow is an impressive sensation, but can you do that on an elevator with a hole cut in the pocket of your dress pants without anyone else noticing?

Not at all. Are you taking a few minutes out of your workday to "go to the bathroom" and bringing a Fleshlight? Do you dare smuggle a ham sandwich into a movie theater?

Steve Jobs. Fact is, your hand belongs on your arm, so no one is ever suspicious when you have it. You never need to plan to bring it anywhere, and you never need to hide it or prepare it or sanitize it and put it away when you're done.

These other methods are like those kitchen gadgets they advertise in infomercials. Sure, maybe you could buy the Bullet home smoothie-making kit and use it a few times, but for the most part, you're just filling a plain old cup with vodka and drinking that.

It's simple. It's what you've been doing your whole life. Three pair is better. Wear one, put the other on over your head with the pussy area at you nose and mouth.

Jack off with the other one. She might as well be there spread in bed for you! If the body chemistry is slightly off PH wise , you will have a bit of a feeling of reminder which will last for a few days.

Might even make your body scent change like her's for awhile or more. That will let you feel it. Wrapped a towell around the bubble wrap.

Lube up really good and go to town. Trending News. Pelosi responds after Trump says 'we really need' stimulus.

The Rock breaks IG records after endorsing Biden. Dude go out and buy a thermal sock and just use it as a penis sleeve. It sounds weird but it feels so good and you don't have to be 18!

There are so many methods that I cannot list them all. Try some different methods and see which pleases you the most.

Go to a sex shop an buy a cyber sleeve. Related myTakes. Show All. Why you should not be giving that person a second chance. Undercover Blues, a pro feminism movie.

Most Helpful Opinion mho Rate.

Fun Ways To Jack Off Video

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